I loved Sinners and I love this! I think part of the issue here is that arousal is a category of feeling and society places a lot of shame on murky mixing that happens within that category. Arousal is disgust, fear, anger, and lust, of course! And often when we are feeling “aroused” we are feeling not just one at a time but a combination of these things. People hate this, want to siphon off “dark romance” into a “problematic” subcategory, but it’s important for me at least to remember that arousal itself has no moral weight.
Anyway, this is about that scene in Sinners where Hailee Steinfeld drools in MBJs mouth.
Love everything you said here! Yes, arousal is a mix of all these things. I just read a book on visual art that discussed how I had originally planned to focus on dark romance in this, but Sinners eventually took the newsletter over. But I definitely think you’ve touched on why that genre is so popular. Anything that arouses intense feelings will have a passionate following.
I think, fundamentally, patriarchy has to have contempt for feelings, because you can only ignore the injustice of patriarchy by not feeling (or alternatively, by being a sadist). And similarly, the structure of Whiteness elevates IQ over EQ, because even though it's fueled by inchoate rage and fear, it protects itself through denial of feeling. Which is why patriarchy and Whiteness treat genres like horror and romance with contempt--these genres call to the feelings inherent in all of us, and it's their attempt to neutralize the threat.
A man once told me that he didn't enjoy romance novels because the only stakes were losing a girlfriend, and there was so much in that statement that I'm sure he wasn't aware of.
Wow!!! I always note how I feel while reading. My feelings determine whether I'm going to continue reading. I can admit a book (or writing) is good but I do not finish it because of the feelings it evokes.
Nerve music. Wow. Thanks for teaching me something new!
There have been times when I've read something that I enjoyed but started questioning myself after reading reviews of others. “Am I shitty for liking this story?”
Now, I'm moving away from those types of reviews because I love reading. I'm not on nobody’s payroll. I'm here for the vibes.
Reading is such a personal experience. I find myself missing the time when I would finish reading a book, and my reaction to it was all that mattered. The entire universe of that book was me and my emotions. The internet makes it hard to do that anymore.
All of this is so true! I struggle to remember plot points of books I literally just finished, and the intellectual themes will fade, but I never forget the emotional high points and how a book made me feel. And the contempt for the physical and embodied is threaded throughout our culture, but it's HARD (no pun intended lol) to write a scene that will turn someone on or make music that will get bodies moving.
I feel like I try to intellectualize the desire to write romance: “Her work deals with love-its presence and its absence, its mutations and its transformations.” And love makes the world go round just like stories do but that might be me being intellectual again.
And truly, honestly, I love love. And I love horniness. I love feeling excited to turn the page or pausing in a pivotal moment with the character. I love feeling in between the pages where I’m safe.
When I finished KINDRED by Alechia Dow, I cried while reading the acknowledgements, but it might have been because I wanted to publish something like that.
This is beautiful! I think it's okay to intellectualize romance (it's kind of the point of this newsletter), but sometimes, we use all that logic to rationalize something we're embarrassed by instead of acknowledging that while head music impressed us, the feelings are what hooked us.
I read this during lunch today and I don’t think I’ve stopped thinking about it since. Thanks for putting pen to paper and sharing - absolutely brilliant
This was a great post. As a big romance reader and fan of the new Sinners movie I heavily agree! And the comparison with horror and romance and how they bring bodily reactions is so interesting and true. That’s what makes me a fan of that work.
I can see this playing out in music as well. With he way we classify certain types of music as high quality and low quality. Brash hip hop shredding metal all designed to make you feel versus music that "smart or enlightened" people listen to that leans toward the chamber music variety.
Yes! You could make this argument for pretty much all art. Think of how comic books are looked down on, but some of the most powerful stories I've encountered have been in that format. And certain emotions are elevated over others. Despair is more respectable than elation or joy.
"nerve music," YES that is such a great way to describe it! I grew up reading Judith McNaught's books and they were often quite problematic and don't always hold up but goddamn if they didn't always make me FEEL something and I've never forgotten it
Nerve music is so accurate. I have a list of books that would never hold up on paper, but gave me such a visceral reading experience that will stay with me forever.
Sinner by Sierra Simone was a gut punch in the best way. It was incredibly sexy (and arousing), but also heart wrenching and smart as it dealt with death from terminal illness, suicide, trauma, religious abuse and faith.
The best stories are a holistic experience; they engage mind, heart and body. Perhaps not everyone is seeking that, but your article made me realize that I do.
Yes! All of this exactly. This is what resonates with most people, whether they are aware of it or not. It's the books that, five years later, you still remember how they made you feel.
Cool
Thank you!
I loved Sinners and I love this! I think part of the issue here is that arousal is a category of feeling and society places a lot of shame on murky mixing that happens within that category. Arousal is disgust, fear, anger, and lust, of course! And often when we are feeling “aroused” we are feeling not just one at a time but a combination of these things. People hate this, want to siphon off “dark romance” into a “problematic” subcategory, but it’s important for me at least to remember that arousal itself has no moral weight.
Anyway, this is about that scene in Sinners where Hailee Steinfeld drools in MBJs mouth.
Love everything you said here! Yes, arousal is a mix of all these things. I just read a book on visual art that discussed how I had originally planned to focus on dark romance in this, but Sinners eventually took the newsletter over. But I definitely think you’ve touched on why that genre is so popular. Anything that arouses intense feelings will have a passionate following.
1. Sinners was a brilliant, beautiful film. I'm obsessed!
2. Thank you for writing this. As a romance author I am sick of the dismissal and the scorn.
Sinners was stunning. So brilliant. And you're welcome!
I think, fundamentally, patriarchy has to have contempt for feelings, because you can only ignore the injustice of patriarchy by not feeling (or alternatively, by being a sadist). And similarly, the structure of Whiteness elevates IQ over EQ, because even though it's fueled by inchoate rage and fear, it protects itself through denial of feeling. Which is why patriarchy and Whiteness treat genres like horror and romance with contempt--these genres call to the feelings inherent in all of us, and it's their attempt to neutralize the threat.
A man once told me that he didn't enjoy romance novels because the only stakes were losing a girlfriend, and there was so much in that statement that I'm sure he wasn't aware of.
Oh god... a whole thesis in one sentence.
Wow!!! I always note how I feel while reading. My feelings determine whether I'm going to continue reading. I can admit a book (or writing) is good but I do not finish it because of the feelings it evokes.
Nerve music. Wow. Thanks for teaching me something new!
There have been times when I've read something that I enjoyed but started questioning myself after reading reviews of others. “Am I shitty for liking this story?”
Now, I'm moving away from those types of reviews because I love reading. I'm not on nobody’s payroll. I'm here for the vibes.
Reading is such a personal experience. I find myself missing the time when I would finish reading a book, and my reaction to it was all that mattered. The entire universe of that book was me and my emotions. The internet makes it hard to do that anymore.
All of this is so true! I struggle to remember plot points of books I literally just finished, and the intellectual themes will fade, but I never forget the emotional high points and how a book made me feel. And the contempt for the physical and embodied is threaded throughout our culture, but it's HARD (no pun intended lol) to write a scene that will turn someone on or make music that will get bodies moving.
It is so hard! And when someone does it well I never forget it.
I feel like I try to intellectualize the desire to write romance: “Her work deals with love-its presence and its absence, its mutations and its transformations.” And love makes the world go round just like stories do but that might be me being intellectual again.
And truly, honestly, I love love. And I love horniness. I love feeling excited to turn the page or pausing in a pivotal moment with the character. I love feeling in between the pages where I’m safe.
When I finished KINDRED by Alechia Dow, I cried while reading the acknowledgements, but it might have been because I wanted to publish something like that.
This is beautiful! I think it's okay to intellectualize romance (it's kind of the point of this newsletter), but sometimes, we use all that logic to rationalize something we're embarrassed by instead of acknowledging that while head music impressed us, the feelings are what hooked us.
I read this during lunch today and I don’t think I’ve stopped thinking about it since. Thanks for putting pen to paper and sharing - absolutely brilliant
Thank you! So happy this resonated
“But a physical response is the entire point.” A++++
Thank you!
This was a great post. As a big romance reader and fan of the new Sinners movie I heavily agree! And the comparison with horror and romance and how they bring bodily reactions is so interesting and true. That’s what makes me a fan of that work.
I felt the same way! This movie was such a good example of how we respond to stories that affect us both physically and mentally.
Your work makes me feel, and it's smart as hell. Great post! I love the comparison to horror.
Ahh, thank you, Sam!
I can see this playing out in music as well. With he way we classify certain types of music as high quality and low quality. Brash hip hop shredding metal all designed to make you feel versus music that "smart or enlightened" people listen to that leans toward the chamber music variety.
Yes! You could make this argument for pretty much all art. Think of how comic books are looked down on, but some of the most powerful stories I've encountered have been in that format. And certain emotions are elevated over others. Despair is more respectable than elation or joy.
"nerve music," YES that is such a great way to describe it! I grew up reading Judith McNaught's books and they were often quite problematic and don't always hold up but goddamn if they didn't always make me FEEL something and I've never forgotten it
Nerve music is so accurate. I have a list of books that would never hold up on paper, but gave me such a visceral reading experience that will stay with me forever.
Sinner by Sierra Simone was a gut punch in the best way. It was incredibly sexy (and arousing), but also heart wrenching and smart as it dealt with death from terminal illness, suicide, trauma, religious abuse and faith.
The best stories are a holistic experience; they engage mind, heart and body. Perhaps not everyone is seeking that, but your article made me realize that I do.
Yes! All of this exactly. This is what resonates with most people, whether they are aware of it or not. It's the books that, five years later, you still remember how they made you feel.